I’m taking a quick break from my usual bookish posts to talk about a recent personal endeavor I embarked on — I quit alcohol for five months. I’ve gotten a lot of questions about it — why did I do it? How did it go? Would I ever do it again? — so I figured I’d write about my experience here.
Last fall, I hit a point in my anxiety that I had never reached before. I was struggling to find a job, struggling with grad school applications, struggling with weight, and struggling to feel productive in my writing and blogging. Ever since college, I’d been a big drinker, but I noticed that whenever I went out with my friends, I started to feel like my anxiety only worsened. I decided to make some big changes in my life (at least temporarily) in order to feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It wasn’t just alcohol.
I actually made two big changes to my diet: one was quitting alcohol cold turkey, and the other was limiting myself to one coffee a day. If you know me, you know that I average about three cups of coffee a day, and when I say ‘cups’ I actually just mean containers of coffee, which could be anywhere from 10 to 32 ounces. Yeah, you heard me, 32 big fat ounces of caffeine in one sitting. And two more after that.
These changes were my New Year’s Resolution, and I vowed to stick to them for 5 months. Hopefully, by the summer I’d have my life together, and I could sit out in the sun and drink pots of coffee until it was time to drink bottles of beer.
So why exactly did I do it?
-I wanted to see if it would help me lose weight and eat healthier in general.
-I wanted to see if it would give me more energy and therefore more time in the day for productivity.
-I wanted to get off a depressant during the winter months, when my mood is usually much lower.
-I wanted to limit my artificial caffeine intake which was only stirring up my anxious feelings.
-I wanted to see if it would affect my social life. Are bars lame when you’re sober?
-I wanted to drink more water instead of always substituting it with coffee.
-I wanted to see if I could.
But did I make it? When it came to the alcohol, I am proud to report that from January 1st to June 1st I was completely and utterly sober. Yes, even during my birthday. Yes, even for Erin Express. In the beginning, I have to admit no one really believed I could make it, but that’s part of what motivated me. I wanted to prove those assholes wrong about me.
As for the coffee ... well, I made it three months. But that’s still something to me.
So what where the results?
-At first, I lost some weight, but that didn’t stick. Even though there was a positive correlation between the amount of drinking I did in college and the amount of weight I gained, turns out quitting alcohol doesn’t actually work the same way. However, I did eat healthier and feel better overall. No more drunk munchies ruining my diets. But I did end up substituting my craving for coffee and alcohol with diet soda which isn’t great. Time to kick that habit in the butt.
-I gained SO. MUCH. MORE. ENERGY. I cannot emphasize this enough. Beating my reliance on caffeine actually made me more energetic throughout the day. I didn’t crash and burn at 2pm at work. I didn’t need my 6pm pre-dinner nap anymore. I could stay up later and wake up easier. Even though I’ve started drinking more than one cup of coffee in a day again, I am super conscious of the amount of caffeine I intake. I’ve turned to the dark side, guys — I’m drinking decaf.
-My mood was better, but not great. It didn’t plummet as per usual, so I consider it a win.
-My nerves were so much better. This could be a number of things, but I genuinely think cutting back on coffee eased my anxious mind.
-As for my social life, that also stayed the same. My friends are awesome, guys. I can’t stress that enough. As most of them are partiers, I was nervous about the reactions I’d get to my little endeavor. But not a single friend rejected the idea. In fact, they were all really supportive. It was so affirming to hear “Oh, that’s so cool,” and “I should try that.” There were a few people who were a little annoying about this project, but they were exclusively people who don’t drink. They were a little too supportive, urging me to quit altogether. “This could be a great step to being sober permanently,” “So proud of you for quitting” like it was a dangerous addiction. I drink socially because it’s fun, and I learned about who looks down on me for that.
-I definitely drank more water! At first I substituted my coffee for a lot of tea, and at the bar I’d drink diet soda. But I’ve learned to appreciate water much more.
-BONUS: my skin looks fantastic. Who thought? I’ve struggled with acne since middle school, and I’ve taken upwards of twenty different prescriptions that rarely worked. Part of it is my age, I know, but I think the combination of cutting out sugary alcoholic beverages, drinking more water, and managing my stress did wonders.
The last and greatest effect was one I wasn’t entirely expecting: I had much more time. My days suddenly got longer. As I mentioned before, I didn’t need to sleep excessively any more. Instead of my afternoon naps, I could work on job and school apps. After a night out of the bar I didn’t crash in bed, I opened up my computer and worked on my book. I accomplished a lot more than I thought I would these past five months, from finishing another draft of my novel and recruiting beta readers, to working on my second novel, to reading over thirty books (of my goal of fifty for the whole year), and critiquing five other manuscripts. I was accepted into graduate school and scored some job interviews. I got my driver’s license. All while working full time, running this here blog, and surviving the depressing winter months. I honestly do attribute it to my temporary detox.
Overall, I think this was a successful venture, and I’m really thankful to my family and friends who supported me. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and most of all, I’m ready to DRINK 🍻
Peace out,
Grace K
PS: Shout-out to my sister-in-law, sober for 9 months while she carries my niece 💖 Can't wait to meet her and can't wait to take some wine bottles to the face with you sis lol