Do you want to know my favorite part of any story? The romantic subplot. Yeah, yeah, I’m pretty basic, but considering that a large part of stories today include some kind of romantic subplot, I bet I’m not alone.
Relationships can be hard to write, but they shouldn’t be. Of course, you want your readers to ship the hell out of your characters, but a lot of writers end up falling into negative tropes that they see in other books. I’ll admit, I do it too. I’m writing a fantasy novel after all; I don’t have a lot of experience with finding romance during a magical rebellion. My main resource is other books—and a lot of writers end up with cringe-worthy romances in otherwise great books.
Since the romantic subplot is important to me, I took stock of my favorite TV, movie, and novel romances to see what makes my OTPs so shippable. I figured out there were five main elements that made my favorite couples so perfect together, and I thought I’d share them with you.
(potential spoilers ahead)
1. They respect each other
It’s amazing how many couples I see that have no respect for one another. This should be the very first thing that a reader notices in any budding romance. The partners should have a great level of respect for one another, and they should act that way.
Who does it right? Aang and Katara from Avatar: the Last Airbender. From the get-go, these two have an immense amount of respect for each other. Aang admires Katara’s determination and growing skill in water bending, as well as her dedication to doing what is right. Katara admires Aang’s blend of silliness and wisdom as well as his great power. They trust each other from the moment they meet, and only grow in respect and admiration for each other as their story progresses. At some point in the show, both of them outright tell each other “I’m proud of you.”
Warning signs that your characters don’t respect one another: they are embarrassed or ashamed of their partner’s actions, and feel the need to get defensive to other characters. Their teasing or banter is no longer lighthearted but mean. One or both of the characters sees their partner as silly, dumb, weak, or annoying. In some stories, partners even dislike each other. Amazing, I know.
2. They are evenly matched
Every relationship has a power dynamic, but healthy relationships have an equal power dynamic. There is a growing trend in YA and NA fiction in which people romanticize an unequal power dynamic, and it’s pretty disturbing. It makes for some of the least shippable romances. Partners should be evenly matched, meaning they each bring something important to the table.
Who does it right?
Percy and Annabeth from the Percy Jackson series. These two are tremendously shippable and have an amazing relationship that only gets better with each book. It’s important to note that Percy and Annabeth aren’t equal in every way—Annabeth is a lot smarter than Percy, but Percy has a lot more ability than Annabeth—yet they are evenly matched. One character doesn’t overpower or overshadow the other. They need each other to get through their story. They complement each other, and balance out the scales, so that when they are together they are only more powerful, not bogged down.
Warning signs your characters aren’t evenly matched: one character is superior to their partner in many important ways. One character is stronger, smarter, richer, and more skilled than their partner. One character is in a position of power over the other, such as a student and teacher, a boss and employee. One character is an ordinary, uninteresting human and their partner is an immortal, all-powerful god/vampire/faerie/mutant etc. If a reader could ask, “what could character A possibly see in character B?” they are unevenly matched.
3. They teach each other something
This goes hand in hand with the first two ideas. If your characters are evenly matched and have a mutual respect for one another, they are likely going to complement each other in a way that teaches them each something. It can be about themselves or the world around them, but each brings something new and meaningful to the other.
Who does it right?
Flynn and Rapunzel from Tangled. Flynn and Rapunzel are polar opposites, but by the end of the movie they have taught each other something extremely valuable. From Flynn, Rapunzel is able to venture out of the safety of her tower into the world, and learn that it can be dangerous as much as beautiful. He brings her adventure. From Rapunzel, Flynn learns about kindness, friendship, self-acceptance and seeing the beauty of life. She is able to crack his callous exterior.
Warning signs your characters aren’t learning from each other: one character learns a great deal from the other, but it is not reciprocated. Neither character is changed in a meaningful way through knowing the other. Examine how each character is different by the end of the story, and determine if it has anything to do with their partner. If not, you may have a weak relationship.
4. They bring out the best in each other
No one wants to read about two characters who get together only to be worse off. Their relationship should make them into better people. If you want your relationship to be shippable, it shouldn’t be toxic to either party at any point in the relationship. Readers want to see two characters become better because they met their partner.
Who does it right?
Kara and Mon-el from Supergirl. Mon-el was introduced as Kara’s love interest in the second season, and they started off disliking each other. Kara was bigoted towards Mon-el’s race, and Mon-el was an arrogant partyboy who only got into trouble. Once they began working together, they grew in respect for each other, and eventually began dating. This goes hand in hand with the two learning from each other, but they each became better people through meeting the other. Kara learned more about Mon-el’s people, and grew in appreciation for other alien species in general, while Mon-el learned the value of heroism and became less selfish. It was clear that they each brought out the best in each other.
Warning signs your characters don’t bring out the best in each other: their relationship consists largely of fighting and bickering. They break up and get back together a lot. They lie or go behind each other’s back. One characters stalks the other, or goes through their phone without asking. They leave behind family or friends to be with one another. One character is bad influence on the other. If either character seems worse off in this relationship, they aren’t bringing out the best in one another.
5. They want to be together
This might seem obvious, but I’ve read one too many books where this doesn’t seem like the case. I want my OTP to be dying to be together. When obstacles come their way, they hurtle over them together. I want them to give each other the benefit of the doubt. I want them to fight for each other. I want them to genuinely enjoy being together. And most of all, I want them to know exactly who they want to be with. If they have a tough time choosing between two equal love interests, then it doesn’t seem to me they really like either of them that much.
Who does it right?
Cinder and Kai from Cinder. Cinder and Kai really shouldn’t be together—Cinder is a second-class citizen as a cyborg, and Kai is the prince—but despite that they immediately take a liking to one another. They find excuses to see one another, and they revel in any moment they can get together. They help each other out, and they both ignore all of the societal pressures that say they shouldn’t be together. *Spoiler alert* but after the events of the first book, Kai still likes Cinder. It appears she lied to him, and he discovers that she is both a cyborg and a Lunar, two beings he is supposed to hate. But he gives Cinder the benefit of the doubt and secretly wishes she can escape, even if the duties of his new position as King force him to label her a fugitive and send out the search parties. Cinder, likewise, still has feelings for Kai, and only feels guilty for all the trouble she causes him. Even though there a million things keeping them apart, they both still have feelings for one another and really want to be together. I’m excited to see how their relationship pans out later.
Warning signs your characters don’t want to be together: they come up with a million reasons not to date the other person—and those reasons are all in their head. They can’t decide who they want to date. They have every reason to be together and just…aren’t. They let poor communication and misunderstandings break them apart. They don’t give their partner the benefit of the doubt. One of them utters the phrase, “You’re better off without me.” Cue the eye roll.
Keep these tips in mind when you’re developing your characters’ romances. This is also helpful if you are trying to show a toxic relationship—pick one of these things and do the opposite. I know relationships can be difficult to write, but when they are written well, a reader will become obsessed with your couple. Every writer dreams their characters will become someone’s new OTP. Or is that just me?
Peace out,
Grace